National Coming out Day

Hey everyone,

October 11th (that is, today) is National Coming Out Day. First celebrated in 1988 during the height of the AIDS pandemic, Coming Out Day began as a way to raise awareness of the LGBTQ+ community and our fight for equal rights. Being authentically queer in public helps to disprove negative stereotypes of our community and banish the silence that makes them easier to spread. Virtually everyone in this country knows or is related to a member of the LGBTQ+ community, whether they are aware of it or not, and so our visibility today and every day is not only a way to live authentically for ourselves, but also to support the community as a whole, especially for those of us who still live in fear and isolation.

This principle of visibility for the sake of others is the bedrock of the Permanence Project, and so Coming Out Day holds a special place in my heart. The media we consume, the words of loved ones and trusted role models, and the environments we grow up and live in effect us all in ways that may have a much deeper impact on us than is intended. A mean-spirited joke or flippant remark about your appearance, the casual erasure, sidelining, or tokenization of members of your community in art, living in a home, town, state, or country where every election is casual banter or debate to everyone else but a matter of life or death for you--these things take their toll, bit by tiny bit. It is hard to be visible and authentic in a world like that. Hell, it's hard even if you aren't visible.

But it doesn't have to be.

Each and every one of us is unique. It might sound like something from Sesame Street, but Elmo had it right. We are not a monolith, or a stereotype, or hellspawn bent on the destruction of all decency (well, at least not all of us are ;P ) We are human beings, beautiful and diverse and filled with so much life and passion; we have so much to offer this world and make it a better place. Think of Marsha P. Johnson, Michael Dillon, Sylvia Riviera, Alan Hart, and Lou Sullivan (and if you don't know who they are, please look them up :) ), and how much worse off our world would be without their courage, drive, and uniquely trans perspectives. But it's not just historical heroes like them or modern celebrities like Elliot Page and Laverne Cox that can make a difference. The more vocal and visible trans folx and our allies are in our individual bubbles and communities, the easier it becomes for the next generation of trans folx, both in terms of societal acceptance and self-acceptance. Changing the whole world and unraveling centuries of oppressive gender norms is too big a job for one person and won't happen overnight, but this Coming Out Day I challenge you, dear reader, to help one queer person feel safe, seen, and loved.

And yes, it's perfectly okay if that one person is you.

With love,

-Angie